Living Intentionally after a Major Setback
How do you do that?
This is a question many people ask as they, themselves, have had difficulty coming back from a major setback, be it a health diagnosis, divorce, an untimely death in their family, job loss, and more.
There is no straight answer as we all deal with trauma differently and we all have a variety of characteristics that add or dim our ability to move forward.
Many people do not have the capacity to go it alone, so here are a few pointers to consider, if you are struggling.
Keep in mind, it is NOT a shame if you are unable to cope on your own!
Firstly, evaluate your situation and decide just when, how, what and why you require support.
Secondly, approach either a professional, mentor or trusted friend/colleague who will ensure that your discussions will be confidential.
Important
Failure: is a part of thriving and moving forward.
Introspection: recognise that you will need time to process what has happened.
Timeout: get away from your immediate situation and do something fun OUTDOORS.
Reflect: Ask a credible mentor to give you sincere feedback on your situation and allow you to vocalise freely, offering support and encouragement on a positive way forward.
Lessons: Learn how you can use this situation to tackle potential future challenges.
Control: Consider what is in your control, if you have been unsuccessful or unproductive, read relevant books, take a course and upskill yourself in some constructive manner.
Serious: It may sound impossible, selfish and uncomfortable but put yourself in situations where you are ‘forced’ to laugh and enjoy yourself. It may be a temporary situation but will clear your mind. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Chance: Take a risk! Be adaptable and take a chance as being too cautious can lead to failure and isolation.
Positivity: A positive outlook is not easy for everyone. It is important to ‘force’ yourself into that space and it will gradually become the norm and is a critical part of moving forward.
Reflect: Reflect, reflect, reflect! Keeping a journal is one way of monitoring your progress and can provide evidence of how you have progressed as well as an archive of previous setbacks and how you dealt with a specific situation.
While setbacks can discourage you, this is also an occasion to review your current dilemma from a unique perspective, through your own, and your mentors’ eyes.
Create your own power to focus and adapt.
GET YOUR Balance & Bounce BACK!
‘THE DEADLY SEDUCER’ by Cindy Pivacic
It is all about you if you can live with yourself, stuff everyone else! I understand fully that it is a serious, terminal disease but it is manageable, so try to keep your sense of humour and “Deal With It”, sounds simple, but for some it will not be, that is why I would like to share the more positive side of my experience. It is not some, feel-sorry-for-me memoir or a sad biography – I usually pick up a biography, read the back, say “oh hell no” and put it right back on the shelf.
This is just telling it how it is and how I had to deal with “IT”. I have had the most exciting life possible, no regrets. No one is untouchable, although some people I have met have the strangest ideas about “IT”. This can affect anyone, directly or indirectly, and eventually someone else’s situation will affect you.
Forty six year old, Caucasian woman, so much for Gay and Black stereotype, HIV and AIDS is my disease!
A brief look at a ‘normal’ youth spent in Namibia then going to a boarding school as there were no high schools in Oranjemund to my fathers transfer to Kimberley and the teen years of growing up and testing the waters of what teenagers get up to along with their peers. I come from a very healthy well balanced background which goes to show everyone is vulnerable no matter your standard of living.
My first and second marriages were disasters for very different reasons; the first fortunately brought me two wonderful hard earned children but due to the lack of affection from my husband they had to be meticulously planned. The second husband was a violent individual and totally opposite of my first husband the physical side was passionate entwined with both violent abuse and sexual ardour.
Deciding to move from the Free State to KwaZulu Natal seemed like the best thing at the time in order to remove myself from my second husbands family and then in time from him, unknowingly setting myself up for an even worse situation. Being the trusting person I am totally misled into a relationship with someone fourteen years my junior resulting in a lifelong deadly disease.
Living with the HI virus and acquired diseases related to HIV/AIDS since 2004, the lengthy detailed treatments are shared in the hope that it will create awareness to the public at large and show that acquiring the virus does not have to mean a death sentence. We are all going to die, eventually; it is just up to each one of us how you are going to live in-between, disease or no disease!
With support, yes, from family and friends believe it or not it has helped somewhat in removing the stigma and discrimination attached to the disease and with proper assistance and support the stigma can be overcome. By pointing people in the right direction and advising what to do, where to go, when and how to do it will hopefully prolong their life by managing their disease.
The treatment takes the reader through the various stages of acquired diseases that affected me and by doing this give people hope that acquiring diseases such as Strokes, Pneumonia, Shingles, TB Meningitis and Cancer (Angioimmunoblasticlymphadenopathy) will show them that living a healthy lifestyle can and does work. Going onto ARVs need not be a nightmare if taken correctly; they will enhance your life.
The lack of support within the suburbs is frightening and is addressed with contact details to counselling, testing and support group facilities. Add to this some tried and tested, easy, healthy recipes, the first thing that always gets asked is ‘So, what do you eat?’ necessitated this inclusion.
The thirty-six FAQ are easy to understand and an integral part of creating awareness and giving information to the still unacquainted people of South Africa in a manner that encourages them to want to read and find out more about this disease.
It boils down to ADAPT or DIE, I chose to adapt!
‘The Deadly Seducer‘ Blurb by Charlotte Kemp
‘A bold and honest account, Cindy Pivacic shares her story about how she came to contract HIV & AIDS and how she responded to it.
Not only is she living healthy years later, but her vibrant and energetic character has been poured into helping others experiencing the same situation.
Cindy presents talks and workshops on living positively with HIV & AIDS and those, with this book and her online presence, gives her the opportunity to create awareness, give testimony concerning the HIV & AIDS issue, and to assist in de-stigmatising this secret killer’.
AVAILABLE IN HARD COPY OR AUDIO
Dear Supporters,
Today, three (3) years ago I went public with my #HIV positive status by sending my website into the world.
It did take me six (6) years to go public but I am happy to say once I did, it felt like a massive burden had been lifted from my shoulders and my health started to flourish.
It wasn’t the easiest thing to do as I assumed there would be some negativity from some and possibly be deleted from other’s lives.
I am happy to say, that was not the case at all and I thank every single one of you for the amazing support and feedback I have had over this period, which seems much longer than 3 years.
So much has happened and my website and presence on the internet/social media has put many people that are living with HIV in touch with me.
Thanks to Shawn Fouche and Charlotte Kemp for sponsoring my website. They are still a huge presence in my life and were also instrumental in getting my book, The Deadly Seducer, published. My eternal gratitude.
My Mother, Lindsay Heydenrych has probably been the most supportive of all, in so many ways, my humblest gratitude.
I have landed on various TV shows:
Carte Blanche, SABC1, 1KZN TV, featured in the FNB advert ‘YouCanHelp’ campaign.
Newspapers
The Saturday Independent, Sunday Tribune, Highway Mail, Witness, Mercury, Daily News, Cape Argus, City Press….and it goes on!
Magazines:
Longevity Magazine, Balanced Life (Foschini Mag)
Radio:
Voice of The Cape, OFM, Gagasi
The point I am making is that the message is getting out and that, is the ultimate objective here.
My thanks also go to the media for sharing this with the public and I have no doubt I have neglected some names here, my apologies.
I like to think that I have managed to quell some fears, be supportive and share information with these people and I hope it has assisted those that are HIV Negative, to remain so.
Many thanks again and I ask you, one and all:
TAKE CARE – BE AWARE!
May you make the right choices.
Cindy
Place your orders now to ensure prompt delivery.
Hard copies available. See detailed information link below.
Book – website short link: http://wp.me/p1hie1-lN
Corporate/Christmas – year end Gifting
OR
World AIDS Day hand-outs
‘The Deadly Seducer’ Author – Cindy Pivacic
‘A bold and honest account, Cindy Pivacic shares her story about how she came to contract HIV & AIDS and how she responded to it.
Not only is she living healthy years later, but her vibrant and energetic character has been poured into helping others experiencing the same situation.
Cindy presents talks and workshops on living positively with HIV & AIDS and those, with this book and her online presence, gives her the opportunity to create awareness, give testimony concerning the HIV & AIDS issue, and to assist in de-stigmatising this secret killer’.
~Charlotte Kemp~
Book – Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheDeadlySeducer
Speaker HIV – Facebook www.facebook.com/CindyPivacicSpeakerHIVAIDS
Email: cindy@cindypivacic.co.za
Also available in double disc AUDIO version including 36 FAQ’s that everyone needs to know.
OR
Single disc AUDIO 36 FAQ’s
I don’t understand a word but I am sure Nosipho Mkhize was kind.
This is the third piece she has done on me (various papers) and I hope it gives courage and hope to others.
Double click on picture to enlarge. If you still can’t see and would like a copy or wish to share, pop me an email: cindy@cindy.pivacic.co.za
A message received from a Mother.
What it’s all about!!
‘Good morning Cindy, thanks ,for seeing my children yesterday.
You made them smile again and that means a lot to me .
You are one in a million, thanks again’.
~name withheld~
About
A bold and honest account, Cindy Pivacic shares her story about how she came to contract HIV & AIDS and how she responded to it. Not only is she living healthy years later, but her vibrant and energetic character has been poured into helping others who are experiencing the same situation.
Cindy presents talks and workshops on living positively with HIV & AIDS and those, with this book and her online presence, gives her the opportunity to create awareness, give testimony concerning the HIV & AIDS issue, and to assist in de-stigmatising this secret killer.
ABSA
Account Name Cindy Pivacic – AID My Journey
Account Type Flexi Account (Book Account)
Account Number 925 85 006 77
Branch Code 632005 (Pinetown)
Price R150.00 + R30.00 postage & packaging (R180.00) South Africa
Delivery 4/5 days
Courier Service counter to counter additional R 75.00 = R225.00 (SA) next day
Door to door additional R130.00 = R280.00 (SA) next day
Requirements:
Your name as reference
Email proof of payment
Your delivery address to:
cindy@cindypivacic.co.za
Thank you.
Regards
Cindy